F00t-Print of Joyzzzzz

haiz… what happened on me? It’s an unlucky day… i meet accident in front of my house, somemore that car is belongs to someone "close" to me… why? Parents started to scold badly… i don’t know what should i say right now. They just like a gun keep shooting out all the bullets… scary… i know is my fault, sorry lol… @,@ why this few months sound like many bad things keep going on.. is it God wants me to do something??? my spiritual life drop?? blur… Maybe i still cant manage my stress well.. My Interior Big Project coming soon, i need to face the lecturers that i don’t know who are them. My ideas still cant pop-out from my mind… how… i started to insomnia, cant sleep, cant eat well. how how how…. so… if u see Joyce in Blur blur way mean…. joyce in stress…

Spring/ Summer…April! This is the month that i feel fresh and funky. Wondering why??!! Maybe because of start my favourite course- interior design. Everything sounds like fresh for me, give me that strength to move on.Hmm… i am glad and proud of myself that i can forget the sadness things in my life. I totally get out of my old-life and become a new Joyce. Before that, in my tought, i was like this things happened on me that made me suffer and i had been struggle for a long time. As for me, an emotional girl, this is not the things that easy to forget, But..now… I did it, unbelievable! Set it free… wow… i feel Good… People surrounded me started to question me about him, before that, when this question comes to me, i’ll remain keep-silent and the things went worst was my tears started running down my cheek, but…today, i can stand out and giving an answer. "Who is he?" "I don’t know, he is a person that i don’t know well…" How he looks like? His name is? I Don’t know… he is a stranger… stranger… hohoho.

Yeah, Thanks my nice Thai friends.. Suchanu and Tanatcha.. Thx for ur caring and love. Waiting our great travel moment… end of year 2008 ok! No worries.. i’m ok… Joyce is a person who stand firm and joyful, so… not to worry so much. Besides… muaks…. love u much much..

.. I lovin’it! Before that, feel like have a big problem on that cox panic of the models… they almost same faces, cant easy to recognize. When i looked on them, woo… Great! Most of them from Russia..Dreaming when i can one of them… U’ll out of shocked! Height = more than 180 cm.. Waist = 22cm.. How scary is that… and trained me how to change a clothe within 1 minute.. huhuhu… For guys, sure must have an unforgettable experience cox… helping models changing the clothes, sure… XXXXXX naked. Haha.. Right, my dear guys. After this new experience, I found out how Model’s life is. Really not a way to be a model… so, girls… not to be model or otherwise u ll lost in urlife.. seriously. Once to be that, u need to pay the price on what u wanna to be. Ok… Btw, I love Italian… they are so friendly…Huh, March ended… everything just like a flash through… I got a new experience in my 21 years old. First time worked as a crew member in Stylo. Crew member? Yeah.. Worked as dresser. Helping the models dress-up Versace Fashion Show. Wow… Versace men..After Versace Fashion show, was Merz-Benz fashion awards. No more dresser…haiz. Hehe. Cox cant meet Italian guys… sobsob. But God’s always gives me a good post. Be “personal helper” for Press Photographer. And Thx God… I got a “leng cai” photographer who is called Tea… ( then I must be coffee haha…) My job was to help him whatever he needs me… sound like I’m important enough :> Thx Tea, I learnt lots from u… teach me how to approach all the VIP’s… and have a nice conversation with u. Anyway, I love this moments much… Busy-ness cause me to forget everything and wont think much in my relation shit stuffs haha I manage to do it!…

15 of Mac 2008, is the date that i wont be forget. Actually it might be a very happy-day just because his birthday.But everything went unlucky… it almost out of my thought.. On the other way, it’s deeply hurt and sad. Viewing the photos he and she, i knew that everything gone in past 3 years.. nothing can be grab back. I gave myself around 3 months to start a brand new life, i thought i’m a tough, strong gal but…until 2nite, i realize i’m not! Tonight, is my history in my love’s world. This few months, i’m tiring… no matter in physical or mentally. I suffer and i dun want any solving problems or explaining the whole story…i keep solving everything here but he having fun over there.. i’m so suck of that… why this such things ll happened on u and me?? God, i serve u sincerely, but.. why? is it this is the only way that u wan me to grow-up? We passionate serving YOU before that in the house of the Lord, but.. today he went away from YOU… what shld i do for him? He changed! God, is it u want to take away this unyoked relationship? I put him in prayer list, but… why? i really cant understand… i have lots of questions need to be ask, but.. tonight, i got the answer in my questions.. im truely awake… He dies…. ever…

Thanks Yong Chean… u are the one who beside me when i really get hurt.. thx for the call from Singapore. I was so touched with the prayer through phone. Yes, this is the challenge in my life. Another turning point in my life… forgiveness.. it’s hard! ya, i know i need to do on that, but… do u think is easy for a person that hurt u much? give me some time ok,friend! U always thought i’m the tough gil, yea.. i keep myself calm and strong in this relation for almost few months, but.. 2day, i really cant…. i need to burst-out everything… thx for keep asking me to cry out so i ll feel better. Tired of trying, sick of crying, yeah i’m smiling but inside im dying… sorry for my friends, family that i dun comment and share with urs about this much, because i think this is not a good way to share about. It’s ll only cause urs have a bad image on him or maybe me.. so.. apologize!

"dear, It’s a matter of time. It’s a matter of time before normalcy returns. Though the love is lost, but love will carry on and please remember that you do have the capacity for greater love. It’s never too late, you still have chances in your life. You’ll get up once again. You’ll laugh again. You’ll live again. And You’ll love again…" thx God.. i heard that…

No more words no more lies, let it go before it dies, hear the words, hear the pain, The last of love ends in vain. Sweet in start, bitter in end, hearts will break NEVER BEND! A lie is an abomination unto the Lord, and a very present help in trouble — Proverb 12:22 / Psalms 46:1

agape-joyce…

huh, now almost 3.40am.. but what am i still right here??!! i should be on the bed right… wondering why this few weeks i’m like a vampire, "sucking blood" at night..i’m been blur this few nights. Semester 2, is a nightmare for me… plz.. dun treat me that way, my dear lecturers..suffering every nights just for the "HOMEWORK".. my eyes really look like Panda +…Professional now..hehe. Digital Application sound like fun for me, but…nonono.. is totally wrong.. Photoshop + Illustrator… urgh urgh urgh… die… Sleep at 5 am and wake up at 7 am.. how scary right… so think twice if wanna be a designer..opps.. is a FAMOUS designer. But.. alwayz remember : U need to sacrifice something before u success in ur goal what.. But seriously, good for me also. I like this kind of life so that i can forget something on my relation. Last time, alwayz insomnia every night and started to think manything in my mind.. spin spin spin.. now, just lay on then… huh.. sweet.. sometimes forget to put on my blanket.. so is a good start for me.. okla, stop here. Cox.. wanna continue my "journey".. urgh…. ciao!

Happy Chinese New Year! is Rat of year… so wish everyone like Stuart Little, Mickey and Ratatouie.. happy and smart always.

Gong Xi Gong Xi!Maybe everyone was wondering how to celebrate this Chinese New Year? is it just get ang pau? When i questioned my friends how was ur celebration for new year, they majority will answered me like.."em..like that lol,eat and got ang pau","boring,doing nothing" But as for me, this Chinese new year (2008), i wont be forget! This is because so awesome! I got the feels of "balik kamupung" and "love"… that i lost in few years ago.. so wonderful!Not only went back to my hometown, some more even went to my grandma’s hometown, so u can imagine how great it is!Step into the "kampung", feel like everyone was so friendly, enjoy and fun..in a sudden,eveything sound like disappear : burden, tension,worries,fear, stress.. how nice the life in "kampung", catching all the "longkang"fishes, playing hide-and seek.. think back, yea.. thx God, i got that in my childhood life. Miss.. wondering why ppl live in city got so manythings to think and worry of, no peace, no smile… haiz. So, alwayz appreciate what happen surround you.. you might be miss one day…

~my grandma’s garden.. although she is in heaven now..~

~my uncle from New Zealand..they visited my grandma hse..~

~all the MCA chit-chatting and viewing the view of KL ~

~still in dicussing where we wan to go on next..~

~the nice flower that i found in my "kamupung"~

huh, eveything changed! same as my house too.. refrigerator force to send out.. sorry ya.. thx for beside me for the passed 20 years. Now, is the time to say goodbye… i gonna meet another new one.. sob sob..miss u much. From a small n tiny become a huge n big refrigerator.. inhabit… em.. design my house right now.. ya…hoo… future designer.. hehe. bye, my dear greeny fridge..

>>>>>>>>>  here it is  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Happy 2008!! At the end, 2007 gone but thx God, it has also made me strong. The path was long but we walked it with a song. There were fears & tears but we also had reasons for cheers. Let me passed through what happened in 2007. Although it is hard to accept o what… but.. it trains me think more mature and mould me, not like a kids anymore. I use to get up this relation, mean i also can put it down. Let’s all the sadness become my motivation in life. I know is hard, but.. a new beginning, with God, nothing is impossible! (thx.. jonathan.. ) Everything just like a click flash thourgh in my life.. Fast.. Fast… Joyce, time’s to wake up.. totally different Joyce in 2008. a brand new leaf ( God’s leaf :> ) All the memories in 2007, i ll just like a key, locked it up, open and view it when i need it! Sometimes, i asking myself, it can be back???!! I don’t know.. Only GOD! God take for granted.. Only HIM knows what are our future..What lies in front of us is a wonderful 2008. We learn from the mistakes of 2007 to improve on 2008. With a little commitment and confidence, it will be a dream come true. Night, this is my prayer…

" Dear Lord Jesus, you cried when ur friend Lazarus died, so u understand how my feeling today. Comfort me as i was sad and lonely without the one i love. But today, in a new coming year, i ‘m free for ever from sadnesss n pain by the grace n mercy from you. I need u in my life, step into my heart. I want to experience more love in my life. I truly believe that u are always stay with me when all people walk away from me..ur footprints alwayz be there. Teach me trust and love the people that i dun love so that i ll live with u for ever.. . Lead me to the cross.. In the Jesus name i Pray, Amen! "

* God bless who ever bow down on HIS knees…

–Agape Joyce 1.1.2008 –

Something that I learned in year 2007. Hope it might give u (especially girls) more knowledge in your relation. After I did my own research and some from friends, I conclude everything. Things went just like that….. >>> He really seemed to like u and u were sure there was a bright future ahead together. Then out of the blue, the love of your life announces that he wants out of the relationships. At least once in our lives we experience the end of a relationship that leaves us in a state of bewilderment.

1)      It isn’t the right time- Women get serious about men when they meet the person they feel is truly their other half. Men, on the other hand, settle down with who ever they happen to be dating at the point in time when they feel ready to settle down. This right time usually happens when every other aspect of his life has been sorted out, whether it’s finishing university, earning a good wage, or even realizing that it’s time to settle down because all his friends have. Unfortunately, if u don’t catch him at this ideal marriage stage, then the possibility of him leaving u is incredibly high.

2)      They are still playing the field- Men like to be the envy of their friends, whether it’s for owing the most expensive car or having a branded clothes. So it’s no surprise that their choice of women reflects this. The more his gf makes his friends drool, the prouder he is. This means, he is constantly wondering if the women in his life is as good as it gets for him. Every man’s criteria of what the “right woman” is very different. There is a chance that he wrote u off merely because he felt he could do better at that point in time. As petty as it may seem to u, to him it is a very real reason for ending the relationship. ( wake-up.. gils..)

3)      Good times are not forever- Men know the honeymoon years of a relationship don’t last. Even though men start off being infatuated with us, they constantly worry about what we may become…. Bored with guys…

4)      “I like u” NOT “I love u”- Men are surprisingly intuitive. They can tell from the first moment they meet a woman whether she will be “the One”. It is this very instinct that will determine the future of your relationship with him. Just because a man likes u a lot, it doesn’t mean they are in love with u. Men are live-for-the-moment creatures. They often stay in a relationship because at that moment, it is kind of relationship they want to be in. Even the length of a relationship wont safeguard a woman from a broken heart.

5)      Too into You- This may like good news, but don’t be fooled. It is yet another reason men dump us. Men are extremely afraid of getting hurt and if he feels that he is more in love with u then u are with him, he will end the relationship. Men have their macho reputations to uphold and walking around heartbroken and weepy does not fit the bill. So… be aware!

At the end, semester 1 finished! Huh, streesful… after this, i only get to know be a designer is harder among the others. In my past few months, only two words can say that are "tired" and "rush". 24 hours sound like not really enough for me. Rush for every projects, when deadline comes to u, gosh.. u ll really nervous n "curious" until sleep for 2 hours then wake up to get the "feeling".. add on, u cant even have a good "digestion". So,  U can imagine how serious it is.. and as junior designer, 2 big challenges for me to break through. 1> No more 8 hours sleep. Huhuhu… this is my big weaknesses.. u only can at least 4 hours, not more than that. U need to wake up in "sudden" to "grab" the feeling.. and alwayz remember, burn mid-night oil is a MUST, sound like scary right.. i also think that. But now it seem like normal stuffs for me.. ~,~!!! What my lecture told me that i’m not a baby anymore, dun ned what 8 hours sleep..sad.. Then, soon u ll get to see a Panda who called JOyce in Malaysia. :>  2>No proper meals in my life. First month, i was so relax n eat lots. Now, haiz… alwayz bread.. (Gardenier) First, i really not to believe that, but.. at the end, i used to do it. Really no time for me to prepare or having my proper meals. I just take not more than 10 minutes to settle everything. Great??! Plus, when u cant rush up the assignments n the "Feeling" not to pop-out, huh.. u gonna die.. emotion not in good condition hehe..and that’s y i got the gastrict nowadays. haiz..pain.. so, whoever wanna to be a designer, think twice.. but..enjoy too. It full of fun and laughter.. really. The most important is u need to have the passion in art, serious! Once u have the passion, just a click, every single ideas n concepts ll pop-out. Em… n most most important is… designer earn lots in future.haha.. maybe.. cox.. designer is the most challenging job in this world, is true!why? cox u need to fullfill what customers need, the trend, every single things with observation. So, price need to pay ok.. what u suffer n stress now, ll "bless" u in future hehe. Em.. stop here la. share with yours later ok.. cheers n love