death?
the days went by, i feel like i was going to faint down in coming days. Second year for me, it was tough… facing a lot of problems, i really out of my mind how to settle it. I need to runaway or to face it? I will be in suffer if i face it, on the other hand, runaway means i am not dare to take the challenge. But i really feel in tired, not in physically, but in mentally too. I was in down-mood in this few months, don’t know what really happened on me. Every single bad things keep happened on me again and again… my college mates keep asking me, “Joyce, what’s going wrong?” this warmest greetings sound familiar to me… but i really out of my mind, cant even answer yours questions. Sorry… Because sometimes, yours really cant understand what is my feeling in this situation. Many thing happened on me, yours cant understand, just because yours are not wearing the same shoes on me. So, yours wont be understand. I already did not smile or happy for few months. I cant satisfied with what i had, what i did, what i faced… It sounds like everything was unfair to me. I started to realize this society was a cruel place that i need to breakthrough onwards. Why? Human-selfishness… it sounds like everything you need to find out yourself, fall down and feel pain then only you will know what happened actually. No PAIN, No GAIN…really? when you really need people’s hands, it was like….. FIND OUT yourself. I feel in pain… joyce in death… my AutoCAD exam was the first exam in my life that i almost give up, i was in blur in front of the monitor… at the end, i burst out. I sit in the college toilet and started to cry… i don;t know what is the reasons i cried, i just knew that i want to CRY… Maybe i really stress-out… i need to slow down my pace and relax… think…
Walked on the way to home, i was like hearing a voice from above the sky. “Joyce, you have experienced some unfair things in the past that have made life more difficult for you, but your attitude should be “,” i’m not going to sit around amd moan and complain about how i was raised or about how somebody mistreated me. No, this is the life God gave me, and i’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to make good choices starting today. I deeply know that my future going to tough, double or triple , but i know someone is over there waiting for me. I will see God’s blessing and favor in my life… I need to stand firm… i hope joyce no more in death… is a JOYFUL-JOYCE! JOJO 2009…
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